I care too much what my parents think. Whenever I do something, say something, even write something, my mind is always subconsciously thinking: "what would my mom/dad think?".
example: even if they aren't anywhere near me, and I say something that they would not "approve of", or even if I say something that they would simply not agree with, or think is stupid, I feel guilty about saying it.
As much as I can intellectually think about why it doesn't matter, and shouldn't matter, emotionally I am still guilty about saying/doing/ect. whatever it is that they disapprove/disagree with.
They are not exactly what I would consider "strict" either (as in having a lot of rules) but rather judgmental.
I don't really know how to fix this, like I said before, it is not intellectual, it is more emotional. It is certainly not going to help me achieve anything.
so yeah.....I am programmed pretty well ;D
"I know one thing, and that is that I know nothing"-Socrates
Post by Chris Delamo (RPP) on Nov 5, 2013 20:48:58 GMT -5
Two tips for dealing with internal (and irrational) fears/issues:
1) Acceptance: sometimes, acceptance is the best way to dissolve annoying, never-ending thoughts in your mind. The reason for this is that irrational, insecure thoughts in your mind are usually self-sustained, meaning YOU create, and perpetuate them.
Thus, TRYING to stop the thoughts, to fight them, to resist them, actually ends up perpetuating them. It's like the old adage, "What you resist, persists." In my experience, ACCEPTING anxiety and irrational thoughts has been the best cure. When you face the thoughts, and ACCEPT that they are there, it means that the illusory thoughts that were illusions in the first place, are no longer being perpetuated BY YOU.
Acceptance of your irrational, illusory thoughts/fears actually DISSOLVING THEM. It's very weird, and VERY counter-intuitive, but it has worked for me. YOU ARE self-perpetuating the thoughts, and TRYING to get rid of them actually REINFORCES them.
What you resist, persists.
2) Pushing Through: On the other hand (lol), sometimes, I think old habits (even mental, thought-based habits), require a certain degree of effort. Although acceptance is very powerful, sometimes old habits require consistent, NEW effort in the opposite of that original bad habit so you can pave new habits.
However, I say start with acceptance, test it out, and see how that works.