Post by Chris Delamo (RPP) on Nov 8, 2013 9:42:57 GMT -5
What are the Top 3 Experiences that Made you a Stronger Person?
I'm curious to know how challenges and failure, actually MAKE US stronger, and thus how we should not run away from challenge and failure, but instead embrace them.
My Top 3:
1) Breaking up with my ex-girlfriend of 7 years (forced me to re-learn emotional independence, and to not rely on any woman for my sense of joy and fulfillment).
2) Dealing with Panic Attacks / Anxiety (this forced me to re-learn what it meant to "accept" and be at ease with life, and how inner-demons that are self-created can often times be the most destructive forces in our lives).
3) Sick mother and brother (my mother was diagnosed with MS, and my brother was diagnosed with cancer many years ago. Today they are both quite healthy and recovered. This experience forced me to see the fragility of human life, how death and destruction can happen to any of us, and it certainly helped reiterate to me that, if god DOES exist, he most certainly is not just, kind, or loving.
1) Breaking up with my first serious girlfriend. She initiated it, And I had been in denial that it had been going downhill for awhile. While painful, helped me remember who I was. I had been compromising myself for another person. It gave me a sense of having less to lose and I began to take some bolder choices in life.
2) Quitting a band I had been in for a few years. It's difficult to walk away from something when you've developed strong relationships. We had been pretty serious about making careers out of the band. But my heart was no longer in it and giving it up allowed me to focus on my own music.
3) My last album that I produced took about a year and was the most ambitious project I'd undertaken. I wasn't sure I could do it, but I was able to stay committed to finishing it. It let me know that I could finish difficult projects if I stayed consistent a gave myself enough time.
A lot of my challenges involve letting go of what I think I "should" do, and instead, doing what I truly want to do.
Post by Chris Delamo (RPP) on Nov 11, 2013 8:39:41 GMT -5
It's amazing how we can use relationships, and the validation we get from our partners in the form of "unconditional love", as a way to rationalize our mediocrity and stagnation. It can be quite destructive, as it was for me in my 7-year relationship.
On your musical ambitions, good to see you have the discipline to put aside ego-based "ambitions" for what you TRULY want.
Sometimes, the things we want the most, are the things we fear the most, and the things we evade the most.
It's takes true courage to CONFRONT what we really want, and honor ourselves enough to go after them.
When I broke up with the band, it ended up being drawn out for several months. I tried to help them find a replacement guitarist, but I think they were really hoping I'd decide to come back. At one point I rationalized that it would be okay for me to rejoin and I agreed to stay. The moment I made that choice, it hit me in the gut and I realized I really couldn't stay after all.